Scenario 1: It’s time to leave the house, but your child refuses to put their shoes on. You’re already running late. What’s your first internal thought and action? *

C) "Honey, let me explain. If you don't wear your shoes, your feet will be cold, and we can't play at the park because it's a rule..." I try to reason with them to get them to cooperate.

A) "This is so disrespectful. Put your shoes on NOW or we aren't going to the park!" My priority is getting compliance and stopping the defiance.

B) "Oh my god, not this again. Why is everything a battle?" I feel a wave of overwhelm and just need the chaos to stop, so I might end up forcing the shoes on while feeling flustered.

D) I raise my voice out of frustration, "Just put them on!" ...and then for the rest of the day, I feel a pit in my stomach, worrying I was too harsh over something so silly.

Scenario 2: Your child has a huge emotional meltdown because you gave them the green cup instead of the red one. *

A) "I start explaining the logic: 'The red cup is dirty. The green cup holds water just the same. See?'" I try to use facts to calm them down.

B) I wash the other cup to get them to calm down, but feel helpless when they don’t stop crying. I feel completely blindsided and exhausted by the sheer intensity of their feelings. It just feels like another fire to put out.

C) "This is ridiculous. You get what you get and you don't get upset." I struggle to have empathy for what feels like an irrational reaction.

D) I sigh and huff, and roll my eyes ...and the moment I do, the guilt washes over me. I feel like a terrible parent for not being more patient.

Scenario 3: You’ve asked your child to tidy up their toys for the third time, and they are flat-out ignoring you. *

A) I get down on their level and start a negotiation. "Okay, how about you tidy up five toys, and I'll tidy up five toys? Or we can tidy up now and have extra story time later?"

B) I lose it and snap, “I am so fed up with having to do everything myself!”. The mess feels overwhelming, another thing on my endless to-do list. I might just tidy it up myself while feeling resentful and drained.

C) I feel frustrated, and sigh loudly. Then I immediately feel awful at my reaction and spend the next hour playing with them to make up for it.

D) My voice gets loud and firm. "I am not asking you again. You are not doing anything else until this is tidied up." I see it as a direct challenge to my authority.

Scenario 4: You’re in public, maybe in the supermarket, and your child has a full-blown meltdown on the floor because you said no to a treat. *

A) My face gets hot with embarrassment. My first thought is "Everyone is staring and thinks I'm a terrible mother." I might give in just to make it stop.

D) I get firm and quiet, often through gritted teeth. "We are not doing this here. Get up right now." I see it as a public power struggle I can't afford to lose.

C) My stress level skyrockets. I feel trapped and overwhelmed by the noise and the stares. I abandon my trolley and just get us out of there as fast as possible.

B) I try to reason with them through their tears. "I know you want the chocolate, but we don't buy sweets on Tuesdays. Remember our rule? We can get a healthy snack instead."

Scenario 5: It's bedtime. Your child has been tucked in, but they keep getting out of bed, asking for one more thing—a sip of water, another hug, to check for monsters. *

A) "They’re just taking advantage of me now." I march them back to bed with a firm "Bedtime is over. I am not coming back in here." My priority is enforcing the boundary.

B) I feel my energy draining with every request. I just want the day to be over. I might let them come into my bed just so I can finally lie down.

C) I feel the frustration building, and finally spill the drink when putting it down too hard. Then I lie in my own bed, wide awake, feeling terrible that I ended the day with anger instead of connection.

D) I engage in a long, drawn-out negotiation. "Okay, one last sip of water, but this is the absolute last time. Do you promise?"

Scenario 6: Your hear your kids bickering and find them fighting over a toy. One grabs it roughly, and the other screams loudly. *

A) "Not again. I can't deal with this right now." I feel completely drained and either snap at them to stop, or separate them just to get some peace.

B) "Wait, wait! Maybe we can find another toy just like this one? Or take turns, but let's make sure it's exactly fair so no one gets upset..." I can't bear the thought of either of them being disappointed, so I over-explain and over-negotiate.

C) "Who had it first? You need to share. Give it back right now." I step in immediately to enforce fairness and stop the conflict.

D) I intervene, but then worry I was too harsh on one and too soft on the other. Did I take sides? Was I fair? I replay the moment over and over, second-guessing myself.

Scenario 7: You've just finished cleaning the living room, and your child immediately starts pulling all the cushions off the sofa to build a den. *

A) "Are you kidding me?! I literally just cleaned this!" I feel a surge of resentment and overwhelm at the sight of the new mess. It feels like my work is never done.

B) I get down on my knees and try to turn it into a teaching moment. "Okay, it's great that you want to build a den, but what's our rule about cleaning up one thing before we start another?"

C) I sigh and try to ignore my annoyance, and sit and build the den with them. Then I feel bad for forcing a smile and not being fully present, while anxiously listing all the things I’m supposed to be doing.

D) My automatic response is, "No. Absolutely not. Put those back right now." I see the mess as a direct disregard for the effort I just put in.

Scenario 8: It's time to leave the park, but your child wants to stay. They start to protest and cry. *

A) "I said 10 minutes and it's been 10 minutes. Time to go." I give a firm warning and expect them to follow through, even if they're upset.

B) "Here we go again..." I feel my chest tighten as I brace for the meltdown. I might try bargaining ("5 more minutes, then we're REALLY leaving") just to avoid the scene.

C) "Sweetie, we have to leave now because we need to get home for dinner. If we don't leave now, we won't have time to cook, and then you'll be hungry..." I try to give them all the reasons why leaving makes sense.

D) I feel the eyes of other parents on me as my child starts to cry. I end up either giving in to avoid embarrassment, or forcing them to leave while feeling awful about it for the rest of the day.

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